


Bridge in a Storm

by AnxiousOwl



Category: X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Charles is a loveable mess, Erik Has Feelings, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, M/M, Mainly cherik but has an ambiguous ending, Marriage, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 22:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3706325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiousOwl/pseuds/AnxiousOwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After 3 years of an on/off relationship with Logan, Charles fell for smart, dependable Erik during a break. He was so very different to Logan in ways Charles wasn't used to, but could appreciate immensely.</p><p>Charles married Erik seven months ago, promising him a lifetime of undivided, limitless love.</p><p>However the cracks are starting to show and he can't help but notice the heart in his chest beats for more than one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bridge in a Storm

**Author's Note:**

> This randomly popped into my head and wouldn't let go, even though I'm an ardent cherik kinda girl.
> 
> Charles loves Erik but can't help the 'what-ifs' that are spinning around in his head.

“You can’t do this, Charles. You _can’t_ ,” he’s got Charles’ hands in his own, very purposefully concealing the man’s wedding ring away from sight and reach, as though the simple action would seal the band to his finger forever.

“I’m so, so sorry, Erik. I…” Charles’ eyes are glassy with a thick layer of moisture but his jaw is set hard in anger at himself, at the situation he’s put them put them both in.

 _Why_ he had thought it a good idea to end his relationship with Logan so messily and fall into another so soon after was beyond him. For all his success in science and academia, teaching and advocating – he was really shit at actual feelings with actual people.

 _Shit._

Erik’s face conveyed similar anger, though only partially towards his partner. The rest was a broiling mess mainly aimed at Logan, significantly at himself for obviously not being enough for Charles, and slightly at Raven and Moira and Azazel and Emma for not intervening and telling Erik in simple terms that (a) Charles was not 100% secure, (b) how serious Charles and Logan had been and (c) what chance Erik really, realistically had at banishing the memory of Logan from Charles’ mind. They had all seemed to melt into the background.

Or Erik had ignored them.

But maybe if he pleaded with Charles to see reason, see how bad Logan had been for him, he could pull things back from the brink.

Charles managed to gather enough courage to speak without his voice cracking too badly. “This, this is all my fault. I never should’ve...” he huffs, licking his lips and dragging his teeth over them. “I promised fidelity to _you_. I never, I didn’t _do_ anything with him, I swear, but. But I can’t forget him, Erik.”

Erik shook his head at this, still staring at Charles with wild intensity. “Yes, yes you promised me. In front of all of the people at our _fucking wedding_ , _Charles!_ H-how can you just – how in the hell do you do that and then turn around and tell me you feel nothing for me anymore? How?”

“I don’t know,” he shakes his head as though not quite believing himself, “And I don’t feel nothing, I _do_ love you, I do, you’ll always be special to me. What’s worse is that despite all of this, you at least deserve a reason. But I can’t give you one. All I can say is, I love him. Even when I thought I hated him I loved him.”

Erik slumps, all the air leaving him, along with his hope.

“Even, even when I was with you, I lo-”

“Don’t fucking say it. Please, just- don’t.”

Charles was freely crying now, his face wet and shiny, despite the mild stubble catching most of them. “You deserve to hear it. I’ve been a total bastard. I wasn’t sure but I said yes anyway. I shouldn’t have. It was my responsibility to tell you and I didn’t because I was a fucking coward.”

He inhaled and exhaled deeply, throat thick with tears. “I was scared of things not working out with him again, of losing you if I said anything, and then having neither of you. I thought everything would work itself out, that I would forget about him and he would forget about me and we’d move on.”

By then Erik had let go of his hands and turned around as he took in Charles’ words even though all he wanted was to clamp his hands over his ears and scream. He resigned himself to clasping his hands behind his head, wandering backwards and forwards, shaking his head, doing anything but look in his eyes.

“You did nothing wrong.” Charles exhaled roughly, having sunk down onto the sofa, elbows on his knees. He was exhausted with the emotional strain of letting everything out. He dreaded what was to come: the inevitable heartbreak, regret, panic – and consuming, unbearable guilt.

Erik turned around, hands still clutching at the hair at the back of his head, taking in Charles’ dejected figure. His arms fell to his sides. He sat on the sofa beside him. He looked at him through the strands of pale auburn hair that had fallen down onto his forehead.

“You’re right. You were an _idiot_ to say nothing till now. It was fucking stupid. But I can’t hate you for it, as much as I really want to right now,” he said quietly, “But you’ve fought with him so much. Raven told me you were always breaking and making up. She said you didn’t seem happy.”

It was Erik’s turn to lick his lips, weighing his next words in mind. “What if, what if the same thing happens again?”

Charles finally turns to look at him, face mere inches away. “That’s exactly why it took so long for me to tell you. Why I thought of never telling you. Fucking hell.” He fell back against the cushions, running a hand over his mouth and through his damp stubble.

Erik fell back as well, mirroring his actions like he was trying to restore his orbit around Charles; it was an uncontrollable urge, almost instinctual by now. It brought their faces close again but this time they both looked straight ahead.

“So what happens now?”

“I don’t know.”

Erik looked at him. “You’re not – you don’t want to be with him?”

“I don’t know what I want. That’s the whole pathetic issue. God, I sound like an ungrateful child. I’m married and my life is comfortable but I make it hard for myself like the _idiot_ I am.”

Erik grinned bitterly, “Well, I’m not going to argue with you there.”

“You know, I expected you to be more angry,” Charles broached cautiously.

Erik’s eyes were hard and hurting, “Oh, don’t get confused, Charles, I am _furious_ right now. But that’s the thing with you – I care about you too fucking much to tear you apart. Logan, though, is a different story.”

“He hasn’t-”

“He didn’t _do_ anything but that doesn’t stop me from being mad at the one person who can take the man I love away from me. I don’t care who he is or how good and honourable he is – he has too much power to hurt me.”

Erik was always so defensive, a lifetime of loss making him guarded and sharp like thorns. Charles snorted without much mirth. “He’s no saint all right. But we spent too much time together to come away with nothing.” He stared at the mantel across the room for a moment. There were 3 photographs; one of himself and Erik whilst they were dating; one of Raven's birthday party, with Charles looking tipsy and Erik looking more endeared than annoyed with Raven's glittery arm around his neck; and one of Erik and Edie during his university days.

“Like crossover.” He breathed out quietly. Charles was lost in thought, automatically withdrawing to his thinking space when things were getting to heavy to handle on the outside. They had gotten close and swapped parts and got split up and mixed up, over and over like chromosomes along generations, no longer able to tell which part came from who.

It had happened with Logan and now Erik. He couldn’t pull himself together without tugging on them both.

Erik dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling, mouthing ‘ _what the fuck_ ’. He couldn’t help but smile, despite the dire situation. It all felt so normal, so domestic for a short, blissful few seconds. The realisation that he might not be able to listen to Charles’ nonsense again hit him like an armoured truck.

Fuck, he couldn’t do this. He took Charles’ hand in his again firmly, then consciously loosened it.

“You said yes. You married me. You had months to change your mind, but you didn’t. All though the bookings and organising and invitations and suit fittings and bloody bachelor parties. That must mean something.”

Charles looked down at their linked hands, like he was seeing them for the first time. He stretched his shorter, thicker fingers around Erik’s as though adjusting them. He didn’t let go.

Erik’s eyes watered with the effort of staring at Charles, picking his expression apart.

Charles brought the back of Erik’s slim hand to his mouth and pressed a gentle, damp kiss to it.

“I’m a disaster of a man, Erik. You knew that when you said yes.”

Erik diverted his attention to their clasped hands, meeting between them like a bridge in stormy waters. “The same applies to me. All except I don’t intend on letting you go, now or ever. Unless,” it pained him greatly to say, “Unless you want that. But you need to know that it would never happen on my side.”

It was now or never. “That’s the kind of commitment you need, Charles.”

Charles dragged his eyes up to Erik’s face, staring right into it for a while.

“…Maybe.” He responded finally, carefully.

His eyes dropped away again. He ran a thumb over the kiss as though he could feel the indentation of his lips on Erik’s skin.

“I’m tired. Let’s go to bed.”

Neither of them had any appetite and were lying against each other, skin on skin, by nine o’clock. Erik was slipping away slowly, eyes sore and tension gradually melting away from his angular face. Charles brushed the pad of his broad thumb over Erik’s shoulder thoughtfully and murmured to himself silently.

“Maybe.”

**Author's Note:**

> So the ending is ambiguous though leaning towards reconciliation because I couldn't write a break-up, I really couldn't.
> 
> But anything could happen so imagine what you like.
> 
> Kudos/comments are appreciated :)


End file.
